The ego doesn’t want you to get help. Whether it’s having someone look over a draft of a script I wrote or getting coaching on a monologue, my ego immediately flares up, wondering why I would need help in the first place. I should just “know” how to do it well, how to do it right, and if I can’t make it awesome the first time around, well screw it! I’m not doing it anymore.
Is this some kind of self-preservation thing? Protecting ourselves from potential criticism and, gasp, heartbreak? Yes, in some fucked up way, I guess it is.
I can’t tell you how hard it’s been for me to get past my own ego, to stop self-sabotaging myself. I try to take little baby steps everyday to ensure that I keep moving forward, but sometimes even baby steps feel like jumping over mountains.
So I’ve got two choices: I could lay down and just give everything up or I could just ask someone with some mountain climbing gear how to go about it.
Can I sleep on that for a bit?